Campout/Birthday Party in Savannah

We came home from Florida Friday afternoon, unpacked those clothes and packed our camping gear. We switched cars, loaded up the four wheelers and were ready to set out for Savannah (TN) first thing Saturday morning. Our closest friends Tre, Rachel, Grant, and Tatum are moving out there and were having Grant's birthday party/four wheel ride/camp out.

We spent the day with our friends, all having a blast. Dylan loved getting to ride his four wheeler again and the other kids had their own too! The land was beautiful! That night we cooked out, did s'mores, and sat around a campfire. The boys spent the night in tents and us girls, including Tatum, slept in the house.

Pics from our Florida Vacation

Our Florida Vacation

We left for Florida on Saturday, 6/14. Once we checked into the hotel, we drove over to Ft. Walton and met cousin Forrest and his fiance April for dinner on the beach. They had a playground so as we sat talking Dylan played in the sand and on the playground until it was almost 10!

On Sunday, we went to see cousin Jimmy's new house and then we went to Uncle Dan's for a day on the farm! Dylan loved seeing the donkeys, cows, quail, pigeons, and baby bunnies. We took the four wheeler and went to Dan's creek. That night we cooked out and enjoyed visiting with everyone.

On Monday, Cedie's birthday, we spent the day with just us three at the beach. We bought Cedie a balloon and let it go at the beach. We ate lunch at a restaurant on the beach. The night as we were walking back to the hotel after dinner, we saw a rainbow! Dylan said it was from Cedie.

On Tuesday we went to Big Kahunas Water Park in Destin. Dylan said it was the most awesome day of his life. Although this was his 1st time at a water park, he was ready to try everything. We all three had a blast. That night we ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant near our hotel.

On Wednesday we went to Ft. Walton Beach. Jimmy's wife Jessica met us there with their two little girls, Emily and Katie. We all had fun. We bought Dylan a hermit crab, which he named "Danny" that morning. Danny went to the beach with us. At lunch time the 3 of us + Danny went to "The Crab Shack" on the beach for lunch. Dylan kept telling the waitress that they could NOT have Danny! LOL! After lunch we walked along the Ft. Walton Pier. We saw two adult dolphins and a baby dolphin. I tried taking pics but with the camera delay, I missed every time! That night we met all of Chris' family for dinner at a nice seafood place.

On Thursday, Chris and Dylan went with Uncle Dan to look at some hunting land and run some farm errands. I went with Aunt Linda to a little city just inside Alabama to do some Antique shopping. I found a couple angel pieces for Cedie's garden. Late that afternoon we went by cousin Kevin's house to see his new race car (he is a race car driver). Then we went to dinner near the hotel.

We drove back to Memphis on Friday. We had to go home, change cars, load the four wheelers and re-pack our suitcases with clean clothes because we were leaving first thing Saturday morning for Savannah, TN for Grant's birthday camp-out.

Happy Birthday Sweet Angel Cedie Lynn

Mourning

It started in the middle of May last year.
This year it was more like June 1st.
Does this mean it is getting easier?
It sure doesn't feel like it to us.

The range of emotions are still there and still strong for all three of us. We miss her just as much and as her birthday approaches, the pain seams more real, more consuming.

A few mornings ago, Dylan asks me if I still dream of his sister Cedie. Out loud, I gave a simple yes. I did not want to start the day off crying. To myself, I thought yes, the dreams are still there: The bittersweet dreams of things that could have been, what our lives would have been if she weren't so sick and how things would be like if she hadn't died; the nightmare re-plays of watching my daughter leave this world. A few minutes after my short answer and the ensuing silence, Dylan asks "are they good dreams or bad dreams?" He amazes me with his intuitiveness. I admitted that I have both. He gave a melancholy "me too." More silence... Then, probably to lighten the mood, he says "I had a good one last night." It was obvious that he needed to talk about her that morning so I did my best to encourage it, although my heart was breaking. He said that in his dream he and Cedie were climbing trees. She was really good, like him. She was all better and they were laughing a lot. When they were done, I made them some mac-n-cheese and we all ate together, all 4 of us, while we talked and laughed. I told him it was a beautiful dream.

Chris mentioned the other day that he still wants to do balloons and sing happy birthday to her. Dylan and I agreed. The unfairness of planning how to honor our daughter's birthday at the cemetary instead of planning a 3rd birthday bash with family and friends AND HER simultaneously breaks my heart and makes me angry.

I feel so broken sometimes. Cedie took a piece of my heart with her last breath. I know Chris and Dylan feel this way too which hurts even more because I can't ease that pain for them.

Cedie's Birthday

I wanted to say thank you to all of you, our friends and family, for your support during this time. Your text, emails, and kind words are truly appreciated. We try to keep ourselves distracted with our daily lives, but it is our support of each other and the support from you guys that helps make it bearable.

We will be out of town on her birthday, June 16th. I don't like to announce over the internet the exact plans, but I will definitely have a picture slide show and details when we get back.

Dylan's Grand Slam!!

Dylan had another baseball game last night (we had 3 last week!). I the "dug out mom" so I didn't get any pictures but the most exciting thing happened! Dylan hit a grand slam HOME RUN! He hit the ball so hard and it traveled so far out field that he could have ran the bases around twice! Not only did he score, but his hit allowed two others to run to home plate too! His team cheered for him, his coaches gave him high-5s and I was the most proud mom out there!

He has his last "regular-season" game on Saturday. The tournament should start next week! GO PIRATES!!

Cedie's June/Birthday Flowers

Dylan and I went to the flower shop and then to the cemetary to take Cedie's June/Birthday flowers. Right after we got everything out of the car,we saw lightening, the wind picked up and the threat of rain was definitely upon us. We were a little more rushed than usual but I think they still turned out pretty.

Happy Birthday to our Angel! We miss you terribly and hope these flowers bring a smile to your face as you look down on us.